No need for a mower...the grass never gets a chance to grow under our feet...

I know, I know, I know..it's been too long...again. No, nothing and no one is forgotten...periods of transitions are strange for me. Quite honestly, I haven't been feeling the idea of blogging while in the midst of change. I have about 20 blogs saved on here, although for some reason, I never had it in me to finish them. So, instead of babbling about a whole lot of nothing, I decided to wait until I was inspired to do this again...without forcing it. So much to catch up on, I don't even know where to start. I'm going to do my best to update as much as possible, but it has been a minute, so excuse me if I forget a few points.

The "move" back to Philly was bittersweet. Many positives, some negatives...but, you know, we make the best of the situation. At the end of the day, it's about the greater good of us and "Dreams and Bullets". So, with that being said, we made the trek back to Philly to get what we needed to get in order. Did I mention that both of us are still working in New York? That's an adventure in itself, but after living in New York for 4 years, it's difficult to completely remove oneself from the city. Anyway, we came back with a goal...and a deadline. With that being said, the ultimate mission is to make sure that we are conducting, preparing and nurturing our business into what it has the potential to be. Yes, at times you feel like you're getting nowhere, but hey, we always keep our eye on the bigger picture...which is what gives us the motivation and tenacity to keep it moving...wherever we go.

So, we decided to take a trip out west...to San Francisco. I'm definite that there will be a few more of those "trips" within the next couple of months...quite frankly, it's about having a base of our own, a place to call home...a city in which we can see ourselves become successful. Not monetarily...if you're good at what you do, the dough will follow...successful meaning, living life to the fullest, making decisions without worrying about what could go wrong...being inspired. So, yeah, San Fran definitely gave us a little boost, a surge of energy...

A lot of people have been asking us about the business...the website. No worries, we're not going anywhere. As said before, it's about doing things right, as opposed to jumping the gun and shooting ourselves in the foot. All is moving forward, although not as swift as we would've hoped for. For those of you that REALLY know us, you know that we're not going anywhere. Well, we'll be going "somewhere", but the business is coming along with us.

Big shout outs to everyone in San Francisco who made time to see us and talk business/pleasure...Sarah Nuernberger, John Polansky and Takia Mitchell for your hospitality, Mighty 119, Hotel Tomo, that "Dead Head" who made sure that we were all good for our entire trip, The Hundreds, Upper Playground...Madlib, Revmatic and Shortkut...damn good show...it's all about connecting...yeah, connecting...East meets West. Talk soon, good people.

Peace.Love.

Rebuilding

What's good, good people?

Just wanted to update everyone to let you know what's going on in the land of difference. It's been crazy since our launch party in August, and I think I can speak for both of us that it feels like we never stop moving. Philly, New York, Baltimore...back to Philly, back to New York...I don't even really keep track much anymore. A lot of you may have already taken a look at the site, so we just want to inform you that we're going to be taking it down for about a month, so that we can build it back up. Thank you for the feedback that we have received. Our mission is to ensure that we have a site that is efficient, user-friendly and fun, sleek...all that good stuff. So with the site being up for about two months, it has given us the opportunity to really take a look at what we can do a little differently. Please be patient with us. We will be updating through the blog, as well as our Facebook fan page, so please, if you haven't joined our "fan club" yet, please do. We want to keep everyone in the loop with what's going on. Sometimes you have to take it down to rebuild, and that's exactly what we're doing in this instance. We're not going anywhere...except back to work. We'll definitely be updating you as much as possible to let you know the deal. You will still be able to purchase tees if you wanted to rock the OGNK now. We're only a message away. Hoping that life is treating everyone well...and we'll see you soon.

Peace.

Back in business

I know it's been a minute...a really long minute since I've posted anything on here, but, we're finally back in action. I'd like to say that we took a little "break" from blogging to focus on some other projects that we have going on, which I'll be sure to update you on soon. With a launch party for OGNK, moving back to Philly temporarily, launching the site, and just life in general, there's oh, so much that needs to be said....so, today, thank you rain, for keeping me indoors to finally keep everyone up to date with what's going on. We've got a lot of catching up to do....

Peace.Love.

Your truth isn't necessarily mine...

I just find it very difficult; difficult to believe their so called "truths". I find it too hard to keep my mouth shut about this situation, because I'm so tired of seeing this shit happen. No one saying anything because they're too afraid of what is going to happen to them. The look of guilt that I saw on the faces of the NYPD as I took pictures of the gathering of the funeral for Omar Edwards. First and foremost, this man was a husband, a father, a son, a brother, a brotha...putting his life on the line. I wonder what made him want to be a cop. Seems to me that the NYPD is on the prowl, recruiting just like the military. Promising those that grew up in the ghetto a better life. Most of the new cops that I see on the street look like babies. Probably because they are. What irritates me most is the complete lack of care, concern, or sensitivity to this situation. Close the case on this one and keep another dirty secret. The skeletons in the NYPD's closet. Now, I'm not going to make assumptions, because I was not there. However, I am not going to be intimidated to state my feelings. Regardless of what really happened, this is a tragedy. Even if they do decide to do an investigation, his family is never going to get over this. Ever...even as the pain slowly starts to dissipate. I find myself asking a lot of questions, since there are so many holes in this story. No, I'm not jumping to conclusions, just speaking through different eyes. Reading in between the lines. Trying to absorb as much information as possible, so that my conclusion is not biased. This is my truth. How I see it. Regardless of whether or not you're offended, I can only continue to be who I am, and refuse to just accept what everyone else tells me is the case.

So, Mayor Bloomberg promoted Edwards to detective after his death? A lot of good that's going to do now. Okay, it's something, so don't just think that because I say that, I'm negative, or in most cases, people like to call me "an angry Black woman". Quite frankly, I don't think that Edwards was even on the NYPD's radar for becoming a detective when he was alive, so why is it that only after he was killed by one of his "brothers" that the promotion was made. Was that supposed to make his wife feel better? Just because you label him a hero, does that make up for his children who will never know their father? Is that supposed to be some condolence for the mother and father that had to bury their son? Is that promotion supposed to be some kind of "motivation" for other cops...if I get shot, maybe then I can get a promotion. How about a thorough investigation? How about a public apology for being so negligent? I have a feeling that his wife won't be seeing any of that "promotion" money to help feed her children. I have a hard time believing that anyone from the police squad is going to even go and visit her once the heat is off the situation.

So many people saying that we need to give the other officers the benefit of the doubt. Okay, whateva...most importantly, two out of the three cops there were under investigation. Officer Andrew Dunton (who killed Edwards), has received 4 civilian complaints in 4 1/2 years. Sergeant John Anzelino just completed a monitoring program for cops who have had too many complaints against them. This was his second time in the program. Anzelino has incurred more than 13 civilian complaints since joining the police force in 1996. An NYPD supervisor has described Anzelino's record "as more than a red flag", considering only 10% of the force receives a complaint in a 12-month period. So, obviously, once I read that, I knew that it was even more shady than I had originally thought. From some other witnesses account of the situation, Edwards didn't even have his gun drawn. He had Goita in handcuffs on the ground, with his gun on his waist. Since he was arresting someone, when the cops told him to turn around, how was he supposed to do that? And then the question that still remains....how is it that the fatal shot that killed Edwards was in the back? If he was facing all three cops before Dunton shot, why was the entrance wound of the bullet in the back? How are we now hearing that there were only three shots fired, instead of the six that were actually shot? Correction, news. Three shots hit Edwards, though six were fired.

Now, whether or not there is going to be an investigation, debate, cover-up...whatever, we cannot deny that there are a lot of holes in this particular story. Just like with Sean Bell last year. It's time to wake up. This could have been avoided, but now I know exactly why I don't trust the cops. Even the so-called good ones. I see the other side of the police living in Bed-Stuy. Harassing people...profiling...walking around like their balls are big. And they can continue to stop me, ask me what I'm doing...whatever they see fit. I know my rights...

Ignorance is bliss...

Ironic how this was in the newspaper after having a conversation with a friend about how I wasn't really feeling Kanye West. I don't want to take away from what the guy has done for himself. I just find it very difficult to witness someone with so much self-proclaimed intelligence act like a fool. After his mother passed, I saw an immediate transition in the way that Kanye acts. I know his mom was the most important thing to him, so I'm sure he went on a "spiritual journey" when recording "808's and Heartbreaks". I just feel like he's been more of a disappointment, than someone who has used his platform for the betterment of his people. Of course, this is all just my opinion. When I state my opinion, I'm not a "hater". I'm just being honest. Yes, hip-hop has always been about MC's talking about how fly they were. That's part of it. But that's also part of the craft...not part of their everyday, all day lifestyle...if you're really that dope, dude, you don't have to keep telling everybody that. Humble yourself. Come back down to Earth, and maybe speak to women about the effects of plastic surgery. Maybe mentor a child and show him how to get into production. Maybe stop talking about how much money you got, what labels you're wearing, and how everyone's on your jock. In his track, "Goldigger", he says, "and when he get on, he'll leave your ass for a white girl." Trying to be funny and talk about all the rest of them. Crazy thing about it is that "Mr. Gayfish" was just seen perusing through the world with his new, white, barely legal girlfriend...who surprisingly enough was a stripper. Of course, again, he took the "credit" for getting her out of that. Just shut your mouth, read a book, and stop thinking you're the greatest, dude. There are so many other artists out there before and after your time that deserve more credit than you do. And you don't hear them bragging constantly about how great they are. They did it for the love...you? I don't know what you're on...but it's not cute anymore...

Accident? Let's call it for what it really is....

Black cop killed by white officer: Horror in East Harlem as off-duty rookie is shot pursuing suspect

BY Alison Gendar, Erica Pearson, Barry Paddock and Leo Standora
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITERS

Friday, May 29th 2009, 12:32 PM

Keivom/News

Police respond to scene in East Harlem on Thursday night where off-duty cop Omar Edwards was fatally shot by NYPD while in pursuit of carjack thief.

An off-duty rookie cop chasing a suspected car thief in East Harlem with his gun drawn was shot and killed Thursday night when an officer mistook him for a criminal.

"Police! Stop! Drop it!" cops from the 25th Precinct shouted at Omar Edwards, 25.

As he started to turn toward him - the gun still in his hand - an officer opened fire, sources said.

The officer involved in the shooting is white, Edwards is black and had no visible NYPD identification on him, sources said. It was unclear if Edwards identified himself.

"This is always a black cop's fear, that he'd be mistaken for a [suspect]," a source said.

His father couldn't fathom how such a fatal mistake could happen.

"If a police officer sees someone with a gun, you don't just fire without asking questions or trying to apprehend the person," said Ricardo Edwards, 72. "If the person was firing at a police officer, I understand."

"It's a horror for everyone involved. No one comes out unscathed," a police source said.

One dejected cop said Edwards "just became a new father. He took some personal time so he could take the baby to North Carolina to meet his folks."

Edwards' mother, Natalia Harding, said her son had just married his girlfriend, Danielle Glen, last month at City Hall. They have two kids - 11/2-year-old Xavier and 7-month-old Keanua.

"I'm hurt that they took my son. That's my baby they took from me. And all I got was his last hug and kiss when he went to work [tonight] and he said, 'Ma, I'll see you when I come home,' " Natalia Harding said between sobs Friday morning at her Brooklyn apartment.

NYPD Commissioner Raymond Kelly said Edwards, who had been on the force less than two years and worked out of a Manhattan housing unit, had left work about 10:30 p.m.

He was in street clothes as he walked toward his car parked about a block away on Second Ave. between E. 124th and E. 125th St., where he saw Miguel Goitia rummaging through the vehicle. The driver's side window was busted out.

Edwards grabbed Goitia, who managed to slip out of his sweater and escape Edwards' grip, Kelly said.

Gun drawn, Edwards gave chase.

At the same time, three plainclothes officers in an unmarked car saw Edwards running down the street. The car made a U-turn, and one of the officers, a white cop with more than four years on the job, got out and fired six shots - hitting Edwards twice, once in the left arm and once in the chest, Kelly said.

Edwards did not fire his weapon.

Maalik Lane, 20, who was walking nearby, said suddenly he heard shots.

"More than five, boom, boom, boom, boom. Then there were just a lot of police blocking the streets."

Mayor Bloomberg, at a press conference at Harlem Hospital, said he expressed his sorrow to Edwards' wife.

"Nothing that you can ever say will bring back the deceased. He was there protecting the rest of us. We will find out what happened," Bloomberg said. "This is a tragedy. We'll see what we can learn from it."

Cops discovered Edwards was one of them when rescue crews cut open his shirt to treat the bleeding and saw a police academy shirt. They then searched his pockets and found his shield, sources said.

Investigators said the anti-crime cops arrested the car-theft suspect Goitia.

Edwards' mother said her son's dream was to be a cop.

"Ever since he was a little kid, he wanted to be a police officer. Something I didn't want, but it was his choice and he loved what he was doing. He loved helping other people," Harding said, noting she always worried about his safety.

My thoughts on this "accident":

I'm really over the idea that this could have been an accident. Too many fatalities are happening with the NYPD. I just find it very interesting that there has never been an "accident" like that where there's a reversal, meaning that I have yet to hear of a Black cop accidentally killing a white cop. It sickens me that people believe that racism and racial profiling no longer exist. Unfortunately for many people, I guess if they ignore the issue, they see it as irrelevant. Sometimes people only learn to care when it hits close to home. Whatever the case, or your opinion is, I believe that racism still does exist, and it's become more and more apparent with these cases. This case, in particular, has left a family in shambles...a newlywed, two young children, a son...they will never get over this, yet they're expected to because it was just an unfortunate "accident".

I've been following this story for the past couple of days, and one question continues to play over and over again. How was it that the shot that killed Omar Edwards was in the back? That means that he wasn't even facing the other cops when he died, although their "account" of the incident was different. Ok, maybe Omar should have stated that he was a cop. Maybe he should have just dropped his weapon. Whatever the case may be, Officer Edwards did NOT fire his weapon. I thought that cops were only supposed to shoot when their lives are in danger...a last resort. This case, to me, seems ruthless.

Reading articles about this, I see that they interviewed the homeless junkie that Edwards was chasing. Goita was attempting to steal a GPS system out of a car when Edwards spotted him. I don't trust Goita's story for a minute. Quite frankly, I think that someone threw him $50 to "recollect" his side of the story, which oddly enough doesn't match the evidence. Goita wasn't arrested...just questioned. And then, off to get high....

People wonder why I'm so wary of the cops. Honestly, it's because I see this happening every day. Not necessarily the murder, but the harassment, the skewed sense of power that they hold onto...playing God. I see the contrast in how people are treated when it comes to this. Call me jaded, negative, naive...whatever. This is my truth...so, let's take the rose tinted glasses off and see it for what it really is...murder.

In Loving Memory of my cousin, Ronald Lee Shepherd III (Shep), 12.05.83 - 08.08.08

It's long overdue, but I have been inspired to write about you. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of you. I'm sure the same can be said for many other people that were in your life. I hear a lot of could've, would've, should've...I still think that some people feel as though your fate could have been in their hands if they just did something a little differently. I feel that some are still attempting to process all of the emotions that come along with losing someone whom they loved so dearly. The only thing that I can say is that it's vital for everyone to take a lesson from you...about how you lived your life to the fullest...no matter what the consequences were. Part of my inspiration for writing this was mainly due to Terrance. So, to you, Ron, we will ensure that your spirit never dies, my dude....

I remember when my mom called me to tell me that you had passed. The mood was somber. It was a Saturday night, and Daud and I were sitting back drinking a brewskie. Motorcycle accident. I put the phone down, told D the news, and the first thing that he said to me was, "wasn't he just in a motorcycle accident, babe?" My attention was focused on my little cousin, Terrance. First person that I called after I hung up the phone with my mom. Shep and his crew were always together, so I was a bit apprehensive to find out how everyone was doing. I knew it wasn't too well. Then I thought of Tish, your dad, your mom, your sisters, Aunt Sandy...

Now, I've dealt with death on many different levels, many insane circumstances. It was different when I found the news with you. Found myself asking many more questions than usual when it comes to death. Could anything have been done differently? Could there have been anyone who would have been able to stop you from riding your bike that night? I don't want to really go into the other questions that I was asking because I'm emotional enough writing this blog. After a day or two of finally accepting the fact that you weren't going to be here in the flesh anymore, I realized that there was nothing that anyone could have done. Unfortunately, God made the decision to take you earlier than everyone else may have expected.

Daud and I rode to the funeral with Terrance. I was honestly afraid to look Terrance in his eyes, because I knew his pain. I mean, I spent a lot of time with this kid during childhood and adulthood, so I know him....very well. I knew that nothing that I was going to say was going to make him feel any better, so we just remained quiet for the ride. We get to the church, and I noticed many faces that I haven't seen in years. Main focus was just making sure that your crew, who was standing @ the front of the church, united, was going to be alright. Left Terrance to be with everybody, and D and I walked into the church. We sat in the back, and my eyes became fixed on Tish. I had no words to utter...I couldn't feel her pain as deeply as she was feeling it; I just sat, watched, shed tears...and waited.

I remember when the pastor talked about you. First thing that he mentioned is that you lived more life in your 24 years than most people do in an entire lifetime. Oh, so true. One thing that I always respected about you is that you were a walker, not a talker. Some people always talking about what they're going to do...never actually doing it because of fear of the unknown. Afraid to take a risk. Afraid of failure, rejection, even success. That was never you. You did what you said you were going to do. You lived life to the fullest, and that is one lesson I hope that people realize at the end of the day.

No, I'm not taking away from anyone's pain...I don't think that the pain will ever go away. But, I chose to celebrate you as a person, being grateful that I got the chance to know you beyond the surface. One thing that I can say about this, I hope that people choose to actually LIVE and not merely survive. Life is not guaranteed to any of us, so I hope that people learn not to hold grudges, make amends, love, and always look at the bigger picture. I find that so many people get wrapped up in the menial bullshit in life, as opposed to knowing that everything is going to work out. I hope that people have learned to have faith in God, and not just themselves.
I hope that people learn to think deeper than the surface. In all reality, we're never really safe anywhere that we go. So, I'm hoping that people learn to be dreamers, doing what they really want to do...not letting anyone or anything hold them back. You did it. And I will not sit here and regret what could have, should have, or would have been. We knew who you were and what you represented. So, to you, Shep, please look down upon those that love you...you will always and forever be with us, my dude. Until we all meet again...rest in peace, cousin.

Peace. Much Love...
Angie Lee