In Loving Memory of my cousin, Ronald Lee Shepherd III (Shep), 12.05.83 - 08.08.08

It's long overdue, but I have been inspired to write about you. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of you. I'm sure the same can be said for many other people that were in your life. I hear a lot of could've, would've, should've...I still think that some people feel as though your fate could have been in their hands if they just did something a little differently. I feel that some are still attempting to process all of the emotions that come along with losing someone whom they loved so dearly. The only thing that I can say is that it's vital for everyone to take a lesson from you...about how you lived your life to the fullest...no matter what the consequences were. Part of my inspiration for writing this was mainly due to Terrance. So, to you, Ron, we will ensure that your spirit never dies, my dude....

I remember when my mom called me to tell me that you had passed. The mood was somber. It was a Saturday night, and Daud and I were sitting back drinking a brewskie. Motorcycle accident. I put the phone down, told D the news, and the first thing that he said to me was, "wasn't he just in a motorcycle accident, babe?" My attention was focused on my little cousin, Terrance. First person that I called after I hung up the phone with my mom. Shep and his crew were always together, so I was a bit apprehensive to find out how everyone was doing. I knew it wasn't too well. Then I thought of Tish, your dad, your mom, your sisters, Aunt Sandy...

Now, I've dealt with death on many different levels, many insane circumstances. It was different when I found the news with you. Found myself asking many more questions than usual when it comes to death. Could anything have been done differently? Could there have been anyone who would have been able to stop you from riding your bike that night? I don't want to really go into the other questions that I was asking because I'm emotional enough writing this blog. After a day or two of finally accepting the fact that you weren't going to be here in the flesh anymore, I realized that there was nothing that anyone could have done. Unfortunately, God made the decision to take you earlier than everyone else may have expected.

Daud and I rode to the funeral with Terrance. I was honestly afraid to look Terrance in his eyes, because I knew his pain. I mean, I spent a lot of time with this kid during childhood and adulthood, so I know him....very well. I knew that nothing that I was going to say was going to make him feel any better, so we just remained quiet for the ride. We get to the church, and I noticed many faces that I haven't seen in years. Main focus was just making sure that your crew, who was standing @ the front of the church, united, was going to be alright. Left Terrance to be with everybody, and D and I walked into the church. We sat in the back, and my eyes became fixed on Tish. I had no words to utter...I couldn't feel her pain as deeply as she was feeling it; I just sat, watched, shed tears...and waited.

I remember when the pastor talked about you. First thing that he mentioned is that you lived more life in your 24 years than most people do in an entire lifetime. Oh, so true. One thing that I always respected about you is that you were a walker, not a talker. Some people always talking about what they're going to do...never actually doing it because of fear of the unknown. Afraid to take a risk. Afraid of failure, rejection, even success. That was never you. You did what you said you were going to do. You lived life to the fullest, and that is one lesson I hope that people realize at the end of the day.

No, I'm not taking away from anyone's pain...I don't think that the pain will ever go away. But, I chose to celebrate you as a person, being grateful that I got the chance to know you beyond the surface. One thing that I can say about this, I hope that people choose to actually LIVE and not merely survive. Life is not guaranteed to any of us, so I hope that people learn not to hold grudges, make amends, love, and always look at the bigger picture. I find that so many people get wrapped up in the menial bullshit in life, as opposed to knowing that everything is going to work out. I hope that people have learned to have faith in God, and not just themselves.
I hope that people learn to think deeper than the surface. In all reality, we're never really safe anywhere that we go. So, I'm hoping that people learn to be dreamers, doing what they really want to do...not letting anyone or anything hold them back. You did it. And I will not sit here and regret what could have, should have, or would have been. We knew who you were and what you represented. So, to you, Shep, please look down upon those that love you...you will always and forever be with us, my dude. Until we all meet again...rest in peace, cousin.

Peace. Much Love...
Angie Lee

SOUL CANNON...goes BOOM!

Soul Cannon @ Fontana's (New York) - May 13, 2009

What a good show! Although this blog is a bit late, I think that it's vital to continue to spread the world about this band. Yeah, you could call it hip-hop, jazz, soul, rock...which is exactly why I "heart" Soul Cannon. A little something to appeal to everyone's taste. The crowd was great, and it's so good to see that they've got crew from Baltimore School for the Arts and Peabody coming out to support and show love. Another great aspect of the band is that you can tell the passion that these guys have for their music. When you listen to Eze's lyrics (really listen), they make you think. When you witness the band live on stage, it becomes a cohesive "movement" of a crew of talented, passionate, and really nice guys that were definitely worth more than the $7.00 door charge. So, to you, Soul Cannon, thank you! Keep bringing the FIRE!!!!!! All new music does not SUCK, as I've heard a lot of people say...

So, now on to the band introduction...Eze Jackson (MC), Matt Frazao (guitar), Nathan Ellman-Bell (drums), Ryan Dorsey (bass), and Jon Birkholz (keyboards). I must say that Jon's grandmother was so precious. So, we must give a shout out to grandmama for showing her face @ a show on the L.E.S. Love it!

We get a text from Eze..."yo, we're about to go on..." Don't worry, bro, we're right outside. Right on time. Camera charged and ready to go. The energy that this band had on stage was incredible. They made us laugh, dance, and think beyond the surface. I observed every band member individually, and saw for myself that these cats are about the band, not about themselves. It was refreshing to see how people's differences could create something so real...you can really tell that everyone's opinion is respected and taken into consideration. Talking to everyone individually after the show, it was so nice to hear that when talking about the show, no one ever uttered the word "I" when referring to the band (unless, of course, they were saying "I need to take a leak")...it was all about "we"...Soul Cannon...not just Eze, Ryan, Matt, Nate and Jon as individuals. It was about the group, and that's exactly why I see Soul Cannon lasting for a long time to come...only getting better. Although I know Ryan is the one who cracks the whip at band practice, I'm sure it's all out of love. Someone's gotta do it, right?

So, please check out Soul Cannon when you get the chance. They performed a show in Philly on May 15th @ Pub Webb, which I hear was oh, so great. We were in Philly, ready to go to the show, but unfortunately Dug got sick. Mad love to Eze for coming through to check on his brother before heading back to Baltimore (at 4.00 in the a.m.) Just goes to show you what kind of people we're rollin' with...the GOOD ones....

Check them out on Myspace.com/soulcannon or soulcannon.com. Just make sure that you buy a bag of Peanut Chews for the MC afterwards. Oh, and make sure that Nathan has his car checked before he travels on the road...they know exactly what I mean....

What's really real?

It's been a crazy week. Seems like every time we take one step forward, it feels like life just comes in, and forces you to take a few steps back. I've learned to just roll with the punches. It's times like this that I'm forced to slow down, breath deep, and reflect. Ask myself what's really real. Being grateful for what I have, knowing that it could be so much worse. Last week I was tested big time. We're back! We have a healthy Dug in the mix again, and although the situation has set us back a couple of weeks, we're back with a vengeance.

My interpretation of dreams and bullets....

Yes, I'm back on here again. Really, I should be washing clothes and getting ready to head into the city, but I'm taking my time today. I won't even begin to tell you how I was inspired to write this blog...oh, my mind is again traveling into THOSE places. Back to the subject...

My interpretation of dreams and bullets...
I guess all of the bullshit that I've had to endure throughout my life can best define my dreams and bullets. I don't take anything as a mistake, more a lesson. Part of my character building. Yes, I've been back stabbed, sabotaged, beaten, bruised, homeless, helpless...but never soulless. Always maintained my integrity. But there have been many tests. Many, many tests that I know will continue to surprise me when I least expect it...to make sure that I'm staying true to my word...and to put me in check if I'm not. I've learned to remain focused, and only think positively, knowing that this mission will come to fruition if I just keep plugging into the bigger picture. I choose to live by my dreams...but will accept my fate if it's bullets that kill me. I hope that my bullets are sweet sonnets heard in the world's ear. I hope that I can make someone's life better. I hope that my bullets are beautiful, blossomed flowers shooting out of an oozie, into the hands of someone who needs a little hope. I want to do everything that I've set out to do...but at the end of the day, I want to be free...spontaneous. I hope to surprise even myself.

So, thank you to all of you who believed in me, and those who did not. It kept me motivated to make things happen. Thank you to all of those that shit on me when I needed someone the most. It taught me how to depend on myself. Thank you to all of those that inspired me...especially all of my peoples. Thanks for being fam. To all of you who were offended when I declined to go out to dinner, or dancing, please don't take it personally. I was just going home to create, and save some money to start a business. To all of you who called me, and received a phone call a month later, I still love you...I'm just making moves.

In the grander scheme of things, I'm hoping that we'll be able to give back more than we do now. Way too much suffering and pain going on, and I'll be damned if I'm going to sit on my ass all day and not do my part to create a shift. It's all about looking out for one another. As I fly away to wherever the world is taking me right now, family, we HAVE NOT, and WILL NOT forget who you are. It's time to make moves.

Peace.Love.
Ang (not Brooklyn Angie...Philly Angie)

Am I pretty now?

I'm getting a little tired of people's suggestion that I should buy myself a rack. So, my best defense is a blog...

"Ang, have you ever thought of getting breast implants? Then, you'd be hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

No, I have never thought about breast implants. Of course, when I was a little girl, I'd steal my sister's bras and stuff them with toilet paper. I never perfected that craft. All I wound up with is a crinkly, lopsided chest...and about a roll of wasted toilet paper. Truly, as far as plastic surgery is concerned, it's not really that appealing to me. No, I will not sit here and knock those that choose to partake in "cosmetic enhancements", but I find myself always questioning why they make that choice in the first place. My mom and dad always pounded into my head that true beauty exudes from the soul...so work on that first. Secondly, I've seen so many "pretty" people become the victims of tragic accidents, where in the blink of an eye, that pretty face that they banked on having forever became mauled. My mom and I used to have conversations about this when I was a teenager. I went to a high school where girls were getting nose jobs at 14 years old. You know, trying to disguise it during winter, spring or summer break. 14 years old and plastic surgery? Whose idea was that, and how in the hell is it justified?

I don't get mad because people have opinions. Honestly, I think that great conversations begin through people truly and honestly communicating about what they believe in. However, I do get irritated and uncomfortable when those that don't even know me make a suggestion about how I can better flaunt my body. Those that truly know me are aware of who I really am...and I'm quite sick of those that know absolutely nothing about me feel as though they can tell me what my long term superficial goals should be. I like to think a little deeper than that. I'd rather help fund a child's education, as opposed to spending thousands of dollars on lip injections, botox, tits, ass, calf implants, eye lifts, brow lifts, etc. I work in restaurants, so I hear a lot of conversations about this. I hear conversations on the train...on the street...on the news...EVERYWHERE I GO. So consumed with the exterior, and wonder why after all of the plastic surgery, they're still not happy. Look within. Deep within. I personally don't want any foreign objects in my body floating around. What I've got gets the job done. Plus, as I like to say, hopefully small breasts age better.

Not to say that I don't care about looking my best. I just choose to work with what I've got, and not worry about what people think...just be happy with who I am and continue to keep it moving.

The Charles L. Blockson Gallery @ Temple University...

Thought that this information might be useful to those in the Philadelphia area looking for something to do. My aunt was named the new curator in 2007, and has been grinding to get the new collection and space (Sullivan Hall) together. Plus, it's always good to know some history. You know where to find me if you need any further info. Until next time, kiddies..Peace.Love... Ang New curator for Blockson Collection named

Construction to begin soon on improved, larger space in Sullivan Hall

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

CONTACT: Hillel J. Hoffmann

After a nine-month national search, historian and archivist Diane D. Turner has been named the next curator of Temple's renowned Charles L. Blockson Afro-American Collection, one of the nation's foremost university-based collections of African-American prints, photographs, slave narratives, manuscripts, letters and other materials. "Diane's deep understanding of the African-American experience, her professional record and her connections to local communities make her the ideal person to lead the Blockson Collection as it moves into a wonderful new home in Sullivan Hall this academic year," said Temple President Ann Weaver Hart. "I am grateful to Vice President for Student Affairs Theresa A. Powell, Charles Blockson and the rest of the search committee for bringing Diane, a Temple graduate, back to Main Campus." Turner will start on Sept. 10, 2007. She will succeed Blockson, who retired as curator on Dec. 31, 2006. Aslaku Berhanu has been serving as the collection's interim curator since Jan. 2, 2007.
From 2002 to 2006, Turner was curator of collections and exhibitions for the African-American Museum in Philadelphia. During her tenure, the museum acquired many significant materials ranging from Charles Johnson prints to First African Baptist burial artifacts, and it was awarded grants to conserve and preserve the collection, including a project to digitize the civil rights photos of the museum's Jack T. Franklin Photographic Collection. Turner currently is a course director for the Bard College Clemente Course in the humanities, an innovative higher-education program for low-income and minority students sponsored by Rutgers University–Camden's Mid-Atlantic Regional Center for the Humanities. She also teaches African-American history at Camden County College; serves as project director for the African-American Community in Woodbury, New Jersey Oral History Project; and is a consultant for several museums. Her latest book is Feeding the Soul: Black Music, Black Thought. In 2006, Turner curated “Look Again: African-American History is American History” at Philadelphia’s Rosenbach Museum & Library, the first exhibit of African and African-American items from the Rosenbach’s collection in the museum’s history. Turner, a native of Malvern, Pa., holds three Temple degrees: She earned a bachelor’s degree in anthropology and art in 1983, a master’s degree in history in 1991 and a doctorate in history in 1993. “I’m thrilled to be back at Temple and I’m honored to continue the Blockson legacy,” Turner said. “This world-class collection represents Mr. Blockson’s vision of promoting a greater understanding of African-American history by conserving and preserving historical materials in a repository that is easily accessible to all.” Born in Norristown, Pa., Charles Blockson began his collection in his youth before becoming one of the nation’s leading experts on the Underground Railroad. Today’s Blockson Collection includes first-edition works by Phillis Wheatley and W.E.B. DuBois, African Bibles, correspondence of Haitian revolutionaries, Paul Robeson’s sheet music, narratives by Sojourner Truth and Frederick Douglass, thousands of taped interviews and radio programs, and more than 500,000 photographs. The Blockson Collection soon will move to a new, larger, more prominent space made possible by President Hart on the first floor of Sullivan Hall. Currently housed in separate rooms totaling less than 2,000 square feet, the collection will occupy a single, contiguous, 3,000-square-foot space when construction is completed later this academic year. The new entrance to the collection will face Sullivan Hall's main doorway. Philadelphia architecture firm Kelly/Maiello has been hired to design the collection's new space. Construction will begin during the fall 2007 semester, and will be completed in the 2007-08 academic year. "The Blockson Collection's new home will be the kind of large, welcoming, open and well-lit space that the collection and the scholars who use it deserve," Hart said. In fall 2006, Hart announced the formation of the Blockson Collection Endowment Committee, co-chaired by Temple Trustee James S. White and Deputy Provost Richard M. Englert, to honor the legacy and accomplishments of Charles Blockson by raising funds for the preservation and dissemination of his collection. The President's Office has allocated $100,000 to begin the process of building resources. To use special collections (i.e. photographs and manuscripts) users are advised to arrange appointments. The collection is open to the public and group tours are available by appointment. For tour reservations call (215) 204-6632. The hours of service for the Blockson Collection are Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. It is closed on major holidays. The Charles L. Blockson Afro-American Collection Temple University @ Sullivan Hall 1330 W. Berks Street Philadelphia, PA 19122

Reflections...a note to my "Emcee"

Oh, how long it's been...
Since I've reflected on how this all began...
How something so safe became my familiar.
Like, the perfect setting for the meeting of our minds...
Or, how you found me just in time...
Baring my soul...
While you deciphered my rhymes...
And read between the lines...
Knowing that you would win my heart with patience.
As I...
Untangled myself from the deceitful web that was woven...
Playing fair...
Fragile heart, strong mind...
Trying to find love in all the wrong places...
Faces with no names...
Were all the same...
I found one exception to that rule.
Or,
How we made dreams become reality...
Despite being in the midst of tragedy...
Travesty...
Love so deep that even the blind can see...
The depths of you and me.
Or,
Those times that I questioned
If I was prepared for another test...
And,
Another lesson...
In this game that I called love...
'Cause I was tired of questioning...
The fact from the fiction.
Trusting that you would make the right decision...
As you listened to the mission...
Of a poetess...
Not in a dress...
Who refused to accept anything less...
But true context...between the best.
Deciphering my code...
Understanding my aggression...
Only wanting,
Wishing...
Praying...
That someone would relieve me of my...
Ambiguity.
The chaos...
The pain..
That raged inside of me.
Lost souls desire to be free...
Apprehensive to fall in love...
Knowing how easy it would be to lose that...
Though the fact still remains...
That we have a destiny.
Tangible dreams...
If I only allowed me...
Myself,
To unlearn those lessons...
Stop questioning...
And grant you nothing less than my full attention.
I found peace of mind...
In between the lines
of your scripture...
Painting the bigger picture...
With intricately placed brushstrokes
On a blank canvas...
Mass of colors that I'd never noticed...
Before you...
I only saw black and white...
On my abstract painting that I called...
"The Game of Life"...
Willing to be my saving grace...
At a time and place that I needed it...
Since I was too preoccupied saving everyone else first.

And then I continue reflecting....
On life's mission.
Thanking the most high for bringing us back together...
Knowing that we're only getting better...

And, how they didn't want us to be together...
Thought they'd be clever...
And come up with some bullshit...
Whatever...
Lies that they could conjure up...
A twisted scheme...
Attempting to block this team...
You and me...
From making dreams become reality.

Meanwhile, we were devising our own equation...
To reach our final destination.

Despite homelessness,
I found comfort and warmth on your chest...
And knew that if I trusted faith...
The impact that we could make...
And how...
True love like this can never be replaced.

A simple chapter in a complex book..
Took me a while to realize that...
You've raised the bar
For those other cats...
Who did me like that.
Those other "chicks" in your past...
Are exactly that...
Your past.
Now we're in the present...
The gift...
We're back...
Fighting for this mission...
This vision...
Only hope is that they're listening...
To this Organik testament.

When Philly's on my mind...

Just a few things that we love and miss about Philly...

1. The desolation on Saturday mornings...
- Many mornings, we'd wake up early, and take a walk. Philly was quiet then. The dew in the morning, or watching the sun rise as we walk north on Broad St.

2.Valanni's
- Especially late night. I don't know about now, but a few years ago, they offer a 20% discount to those in the restaurant industry. The people were nice, the food was good (especially the mussels and creme brulee), and the music wasn't bad either. Plus, there's outside seating. Just make sure that you put the cash in your server's hand before you leave...Dug and I had to jump some dude for trying to grab our check presenter.

3. Rarebreed
- I must say that the most convenient location was on 15th and South...since we lived two blocks away from there. Good peoples...our peoples own that store. So, check it out. For all your graffiti, music, art, and book fixes. New location: Broad and Tasker @ 1624 S. Broad Street. Whenever we make the trip to Philly, we make sure to stop by and see what's good.

4. House Parties
- Philly, to us, will always be remembered as the home of the house party. Somebody was always having one. I do fondly remember the days of Alexis, Paradocs and Apil throwing the summer house parties and bbq's. Never knew what was going to transpire, but there'd always be a story to tell the day after.

5. Backyard BBQ
- Loved the backyard in South Philly. Whoever showing up whenever, while we cooked on the grill that Dug made. Good food, good times.

6. Painted Bride (Day of the Poet)
- Never knew who was going to be there. A place that I saw as home every First Friday. Russell Simmons, Ursula Ruckr, Jill Scott, The Twin Poets...grew up watching these people perform there.

7. Ortlieb's Jazz Haus
- Always had live bands playing. Good food. Inexpensive, and a true to heart jazz spot. It's small, or shall we call it intimate? Definitely worth checking out though.

8.Harry's
- This particular one doesn't have to do with Dug, but I loved this place. So much that I started working there. Good, good people. They taught me alot, and although alot of people may think it's bullshit, I met so many different types of people. Some that I didn't even expect to step foot in an occult shop. One of the best jobs I've had to date.

9. The Gathering
- Especially when it took place on Penn's campus. In the springtime, live band, emcees, poets, breakers...oooh, can remember it like it was yesterday.

10. Walking to work
- Yes, there were those times in Philly when I was broooooooooooke. Like, really broke. But I always knew that I'd at least be able to walk to my shift at work. Always. And then, there were those times when I did have money to get to work, but opted instead to get up early and walk to 3rd and Chestnut. Those spring, summer and fall days when the city was moving. but taking their time to appreciate everything around them.

11. Rittenhouse/Clark Park
- The free shows, the festivals, the flea markets. Sitting by the frog in Rittenhouse Park and writing poetry. Taking lunch from work and eating octopus salad with Dug. Late night walks home. Naptime. Good times.

12. Letto
- Good, good food. Delivery. Sammiches. Sushi. Seaweed Salad. Aloe juice. Need I say anything more? Need one of those in Brooklyn.

13. Robin's Books
- Any book or magazine that I was looking for, I always found here. Whether a children's book, out of print, or a rare coffee table book, I knew that Robin's would always come through. Spent many hours in this store, and found alot of books that I'd never be able to in Barnes and Noble, or Border's. Plus, it always made me laugh when old dudes would walk out of the porn section, looking all shady. I know what you're doing , man, and it's all good. We're @ Robin's.

14. Mutter Museum
-Medical abnormalities. Used to take trips here in high school, and it grew on me. Not many people know about the Mutter Museum, or have visited it, but if this is your thing, it's definitely worth checking out.

15. Fairmount Park
- Late nights. Early mornings.Walks. Drives. The curves. The people. The Azalea Gardens and Boathouse Row behind The Art Museum. The city skyline. Looking up and discovering the stars glowing.

16. Zanzibar Blue
Tons of good times with friends and musicians. Jamie Cullum, Hiromi, Jamaladeen Tacuma, Maynard Ferguson...Dug and I drinking scotch with Lou Rawls and his wife, Nina, after his performance, three months before he died.

17. Black Lily @ The Five Spot
-Never knew who was going to show up here. And it was only $5. The Roots, Common, Erykah Badu, JazzyFatnastees, Floetry, Saul Williams, Ursula Rucker...

18. 5th and Cecil B. Moore after parties
-No matter where your night started, you could pretty much guarantee that a slew of people were going to show up here late night.

19. The free gelatis from Rita's
- One day while skimming through the Philadelphia Weekly, I found a coupon for a free gelati from Rita's. For a whole summer, every week, I would pick up 10 papers, tear out the coupons, and supplied us with free gelatis from Rita's for the whole summer.

20. The Fresh Grocer (40th and Walnut)
- Open 24 hours. Need I say anything more? I have yet to find a comparable grocery store, even in New York.

And, of course, all of the cool ass people that we met in this city...